Title: Solace

Author: Sue Corkill

Category: Sam and Jack, Angst

Status: Complete

Rating: PG-13

Content Warning: M/F

Season/Sequel info: Season Four

Spoilers: Divide and Conquer, small ones for Seth, Jolinar’s Memories

Archive: Heliopolis, Sam & Jack, SJHW

Summary: Jacob comforts Sam after the events in ‘Divide and Conquer’ and leaves her an unexpected gift.

Disclaimer: All publicly recognizable characters and places are the property of MGM, World Gekko Corp and Double Secret productions. This piece of fan fiction was created for entertainment not monetary purposes and no infringement on copyrights or trademarks was intended. Previously unrecognized characters and places, and this story, are copyrighted to the author. Any similarity to real persons, living or dead, is coincidental and not intended by the author.

Feedback: All feedback and constructive criticism will be greatly appreciated. No flames please.

Author’s notes: Dedicated to the memory of Martouf, may he rest in peace.

Copyright © M. Susan Corkill, August 2000

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SOLACE

The announcement of "Unauthorized Incoming Traveler" and the resulting noise from the klaxons jerked Sam’s thoughts back to her present location in the control room. Quickly focusing on the situation at hand, she left her computer and went to stand behind Harriman. "Any idea who it is?"

"Receiving the IDC now…" Looking at his computer screen Harriman gave an almost inaudible sigh of relief and turning to the major said, "It’s the Tok’ra, ma’am."

"Open the iris," she ordered.

Harriman hit several keys and the iris silently opened. As Sam watched the event horizon waiting for their visitor, General Hammond entered the control room. Glancing towards the stargate and seeing the iris open, he turned to the major, "There are no teams scheduled to return until later."

"It’s the Tok’ra, sir." As soon as the words left her mouth, her father walked through the event horizon. "Dad," she murmured.

General Hammond spoke into the intercom, "Stand down, men." The guards present in the gateroom lowered their weapons. Sam quickly followed the General as he left the control room and went to greet her father.

"Jacob, good to see you."

"Likewise George," Jacob shook the General’s hand and then turned to Sam, pulling her into his arms. "How ya’ doing kiddo?" he whispered in her ear.

Sam closed her eyes against the tears that suddenly formed and held her father tighter. "I’m okay Dad," she whispered back.

Jacob pulled out of the embrace and holding her at arms length studied her face carefully. She looked too pale and had dark circles under her eyes. Releasing her, he bowed his head and when he looked up Selmak spoke, "General Hammond, Major Carter, I bring greetings from the Tok’ra High Council. I also wish to express my condolences for the events that occurred her recently related to the signing of the Tok’ra/Earth treaty. It is sometimes easy to forget that we are at war when we are fighting an enemy that remains hidden."

General Hammond studied the other man thoughtfully. "That’s not the only reason you came though, is it?"

"You are quite right General, I have brought intelligence information that may be of use to you." Lowering his head, Jacob took over and looking up, continued, "Besides, I wanted to see my daughter, nothing wrong with that, is there?"

The General smiled back at his old friend, "No, nothing wrong with that Jacob."

Eyeing his daughter with concern Jacob reached out and took her hand. "Sam honey, let me go over this information with George and then we can talk."

"Alright Dad," she replied, squeezing his hand. "I’ll be in my lab when you’re done." Sam watched as the two men walked out the room, talking quietly. Sighing, she turned and went to her lab.

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Sam glanced at her watch; her father had been with General Hammond for over an hour. Whatever his information it must be good, she thought. They could use some accurate intel, especially after the events of a week ago. Her emotions were still in such a jumble; she had hardly been sleeping, her dreams full of Martouf and the Colonel. It wasn’t everyday she had two men express their feelings for her only to have one die and the other, well, she didn’t even want to go there yet….

As it was, she couldn’t get the vision of Martouf dying in her arms out of her mind. She could still see his face so clearly as awareness of his actions came to him and the sound of his voice when he had said her name…pleading with her to end it for him before he turned the Goa’uld device on himself, a plea she couldn’t ignore. She felt the tears starting yet again. Scolding herself, she grabbed a tissue and hurriedly blotted them away. Blowing her nose, she looked up and saw her father standing in the doorway. By the concerned look on his face she knew he had witnessed her tears.

Taking a deep breath she called out in what she hoped was a cheerful voice, "Dad, come on in."

Jacob walked into the room, closing the door behind him. "Sam, this is your old dad here, don’t hide from me." With a strangled sob, Sam threw herself into her father’s arms, finally surrendering to the emotional turmoil raging within her.

Jacob held her and let her cry for several minutes, and when her sobbing finally subsided he walked her over to the workbench, sitting them both down. Grabbing some tissues from the desk, he wiped her eyes and then waited as she got herself back under control. Putting his arm around her he said, "I’m sorry honey, after I got Martouf’s message and then heard all that happened, I got here as soon as I could."

Sam let her head rest on his shoulder. "Thanks Dad, I knew you would come."

"His memorial service was yesterday," Jacob said, feeling the shudder that shook Sam at his words. He continued, "It was nice, I think Martouf would have been pleased. It was just a simple remembrance, we try to follow the host’s customs as best we can." He sat quietly then, just holding Sam.

"So, Freya got everything she needed?" she asked finally, referring to the post-mortem exam.

"She seemed…satisfied," Jacob replied. Taking his arm from around his daughter then, he turned so he could see her face. "How are you doing?"

Sam almost started crying again at the concern and love in her father’s eyes. "I’m getting better, Dad. I just wish we had figured it out sooner, we could have done something to help him instead of…." She let her voice trail off, her mind going back to the moment she understood Martouf’s final plea and her response.

"Instead of killing him?"

Leave it to her father to cut right to the chase. "Yeah, instead of me killing him," she whispered.

Jacob bowed his head then and Selmak spoke, "Major Carter, you did as Martouf requested. It was far better for him to die as a warrior at your hands than for him to take his own life while under Goa’uld control."

"Well Selmak," Sam replied somewhat harshly, suddenly unwilling to accept his comfort and explanation. "That’s easy for you to say, you don’t have to live with the images and memories of what you did or what happened."

"Samantha, do you not think that I have witnessed and done many things over the course of my life that have been wounding to my spirit? I have been involved in waging war with the Goa’uld for my entire existence. Tragic and horrible things happen when your enemy has no conscience and views every species as mere chattel." Selmak paused, searching Sam’s face for some sign of understanding. Wiping away the tears that had started to fall again, she nodded. "I do not mean to belittle your feelings or the tragedy that occurred, however be confident that Martouf died nobly, his last actions do not diminish the man he was."

Sighing Sam replied softly, "I keep telling myself all that." Looking at Selmak she added, "And maybe one day I’ll actually believe it."

Selmak bowed his head and Sam heard her father’s voice. "Selmak’s right honey, but I know it’s going to take time."

"Thanks Dad." Sam hugged him beginning to feel a little better. "How did I get so lucky to have such a wise father with such a wise symbiont?"

"Probably the same way I got so lucky to have such a beautiful and smart daughter." Glancing at the wall clock Jacob said, "I need to leave Sam, I can only be away for a few hours."

Both of them stood then and Sam asked, "What kind of mission are you on this time?"

Jacob grinned at her. "Wish I could tell you kiddo, but it’s…."

"Classified," Sam added for him, both of them laughing. Holding on to his arm, she walked with him out of the lab.

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Sam stared at the small leather box sitting on the table in her lab. It looked innocent enough, so why was it she still hadn’t opened it six hours after her father had given it to her? Picking it up, she lightly traced the faded pattern tooled into the leather. It measured about 5x7x2, and was made out of saddle leather; at least that’s what the material would be called on Earth and it was held shut with a braided leather thong. Sam knew without a doubt that it hadn’t come from Earth though—it had belonged to Martouf.

She had been standing next to her father at the Stargate, waiting for the dialing sequence to start when he had suddenly said, "I almost forgot, I have something for you." Reaching into the pouch that hung from his belt he pulled the box out. "Selmak thinks you should have this. It was Martouf’s." Jacob held out the box to her.

Staring at the object as if it might bite her any second Sam murmured, "Ah, I don’t know Dad…" Stalling a bit she asked, "Why does Selmak think I should have it?"

"According to him, you’re Martouf’s only living relative." Seeing Sam’s look of disbelief he added quickly, "Because of Jolinar."

"Oh, I don’t know Dad, this is just way too weird." Sam continued to gaze at the box, part of her curious to know what it held but the other part apprehensive as hell.

"Sam, I know it seems odd to you, but Martouf would have wanted you to have it." He held the box out to her again and this time she took it.

"Do you know what’s in it?" she asked her father.

"I’m not sure honey, all I know is that it holds items that were important to him."

At that point, the gate had engaged and after everyone said their good-byes, her father left. And here she was now, six hours later still curious about the contents and still afraid to look. Well, no guts no glory she finally decided and slipping the loop on the braided thong she carefully opened the box. It was lined with a plain white linen cloth, and when Sam lifted back its corners she had her first glimpse of the contents.

The first thing Sam saw was a small packet wrapped in a beautifully embroidered handkerchief, which was tied with a pale blue ribbon. She carefully lifted the packet out and set it aside to examine later. Nestled in the box she saw three other items. Removing them one by one and setting them on the counter she surveyed Martouf’s legacy. A small leather bound journal, about the size of a small notepad; an engraved oval locket with a fine gold chain; and a gold-toned ellipse about the size of an egg that Sam recognized as one of the Tok’ra holograph-projection devices.

She picked up the locket, turning it in her fingers studying the engraving. On one side she thought she could make out a stylized ‘M’ and ‘R’. Reaching for her magnifying light she looked at the locket under it, yes, it was an ‘M’ and an ‘R’. Turning the locket over she saw the other side was engraved with an ‘L’ and a ‘J’. Martouf and Rosha; Lantesh and Jolinar she realized. Not knowing what to expect, she carefully opened the locket. Each half of the locket held a small braided lock of hair. Oh my, Sam thought feeling the tears pricking at her eyes again, taking a deep breath she carefully closed the pendant placing it back in the box.

She picked up the small journal then, briefly leafing through the pages. She recognized Martouf’s handwriting, but most of it seemed to be written in a Goa’uld dialect, with an occasional smattering of English. She placed it back in the box, deciding that if she ever wanted it translated she would ask Daniel.

She chose the holograph device next, hoping she could remember how to activate the thing. Feeling carefully along the base of the ellipse she found the ‘on’ switch and placing it back on the desk activated the device. A small image of Martouf and Rosha appeared in front of her, slowly rotating. Sam stared in amazement at the image, it was much clearer than what she remembered from the images they had seen when her father had shown them the Goa’uld ‘family tree’ hologram. Floating in the air in front of her was an image of Martouf and Rosha, standing with their arms around each other, smiling faces turned towards the ‘camera’. They looked so happy, and then Sam realized it was because they were happy. She began to get that vague ‘I remember’ feeling and knew she was sensing some of what Jolinar felt when the image had been made. She quickly deactivated the device.

That only left one more item, she picked up the handkerchief wrapped packet. Carefully untying the ribbon she set the packet gently back on the table and turned back the edges of the handkerchief. She gazed blankly at the folded pieces of paper for a moment and then realized they were letters…. Without unfolding them, she shuffled through them and counted eight. She knew Martouf and Rosha had been together for 100 years, she felt uneasy about looking at letters that Martouf had clearly saved from that time. Some of the letters were obviously old; the edges of the paper starting to brown and come apart at the creases while others were more recent, given the condition of the paper. She selected one of the letters, gingerly unfolding it. It began, "My beloved Martouf" and as Sam read the message she ‘remembered’ what they were. With trembling hands, she carefully refolded the letter and wrapped it and the others back in the handkerchief, retying the ribbon.

She stared with unseeing eyes at the packet of letters. They were love letters, yet they were also so much more. Though Rosha and Martouf had more often than not worked together, there were occasions when they were sent on separate missions. Before she would leave on those separate missions Rosha would write Martouf a letter, a written confirmation of their love, devotion, and determination to fight the Goa’uld. The one Sam had started reading was the one Rosha had written before she left on the mission that eventually led to her capture and imprisonment on Netu. Though she retained some of Jolinar’s memories, she still felt like a voyeur, reading Rosha’s personal message to Martouf.

She also felt a deep ache and sense of loss in her heart when she touched upon those memories. Martouf and Rosha, along with their symbionts, had been true soul mates. They had managed to find and keep love in the midst of war and terrible adversity. Thinking back to her ‘moment-of-truth’ with the Colonel, she wondered if she would be able to do the same. The adversity they faced, while no where near as severe as that of Rosha and Martouf was still very real.

Sam became so lost in her thoughts, she didn’t realize that someone had walked into her lab until she heard the Colonel ask, "Whatcha’ doing?"

Startled by his sudden appearance she jumped, knocking the packet of letters and hologram device onto the floor. "Sir, you startled me," she cried a bit breathlessly.

"Sorry Carter," he replied as he stooped down to pick up the packet and hologram device. "I thought you heard me." He set the letters back on the table, but kept hold of the oval device, fiddling with it.

"Ah, sir…" Sam said, watching him carefully as he turned the device over and over in his hands.

"So, I repeat," he said, taking in her pale face and drawn features, "whatcha’ doing here so late? I heard ‘Dad’ was here, thought you might have gone out with him."

"He could only stay for a little while." She was getting more and more nervous the longer he handled the device. "Ah, sir, I really think you should let me have that."

"Why, what’s it going to do?" he asked, running his fingers over the device. Accidentally hitting the on switch, the device activated displaying the hologram of Martouf and Rosha.

"Whoa," the Colonel exclaimed quickly setting the projector on the table. "What’s that?" he asked, studying the picture.

"It’s a hologram of Martouf and Rosha," Sam replied shutting it off.

"Ah, I see…" he muttered, but then curiosity got the better of him and he asked, "where’d you get it?"

Sam looked at the Colonel, his expression seemed sincere. "Dad brought me some of Martouf’s things." She gestured to the leather box, which lay open on the desk.

"So, he brought you these things because…" he prompted.

Giving into the Colonel’s line of questioning she explained Selmak’s reasoning for giving her Martouf’s belongings. "…So you see, it somehow makes sense in a very weird sort of way that I would be the one to get these." Sam gestured towards the box and it’s contents.

"Right, it makes sense." O’Neill replied clearly believing that it didn’t.

Sam started placing the remaining items back in the box. Looking at the Colonel as he stood there she paused and asked, "So, what are you still doing here?"

"Oh, Teal’c and I just got back a little while ago from our training maneuvers with the new teams. I heard Jacob was here so I thought I’d come see him." Looking around the lab he said, "No one told me he had already left."

"He couldn’t stay for very long," Sam explained. She stood up then and walking around the Colonel she began tidying up the lab.

Jack studied her closely as she cleaned off the counters. She looked tired, her movements slow and her shoulders slightly stooped. They had been kept so busy since the events surrounding the treaty signing they really hadn’t had an opportunity to talk. Yeah right, talk—about what? Martouf’s death? Or what they had agreed to leave in the exam room? Jack decided their friendship, wincing slightly at his choice but deciding it was the best description for now, was too important to not talk about those things.

He watched as Sam took the leather box, now fastened shut with the leather thong, and locked it in a cupboard. She turned to him then with a questioning look. "Is there anything else, sir?"

"Ah, actually there is Carter. What about going to get something to eat?" He looked at her gauging her response; she looked interested, so far so good. "We really haven’t had a chance to, ah, talk about things…." He let his voice trail off, waiting for her reply.

She smiled then, the first real smile he’d seen from her in at least a week. "I’d like that sir, just let me get my jacket."

He grinned back at her; "I need to get a few things too. What say I meet you topside in, ah, ten minutes?"

"I’ll be there."

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A little less than an hour later they were ensconced in the Colonel’s den eating Chinese take-out, a baseball game playing sans sound on the TV. "Is there anymore of that Orange Chicken?" Sam asked as she stuffed the last of an eggroll into her mouth.

Jack leaned over to the coffee table, shuffling through the containers. "Here, there’s a little left," handing it to her.

"Mmm, thanks." Sam scooped the rest of the chicken onto her plate. Glancing at the Colonel, who sat next to her on the sofa, she said, "This was a good idea."

Jack surveyed the array of empty containers. "Yeah, well if I’d know you were this hungry I would have gotten more."

"Well, I haven’t been too hungry lately—must be getting over that though," Sam mumbled, taking another bite of the chicken.

Jack had finished eating so he began clearing away the empty containers. Taking the trash to the kitchen, he returned with two more beers just as Sam put down her empty plate. "Had enough?" he teased, handing her the beer.

Taking a quick swallow of the beer she replied, "Don’t think I could eat another bite."

Jack sat back down on the sofa, angling himself so he faced her. "So, how are you? I mean," he paused and took a big swallow of his beer, "with all of this stuff that happened?"

"You mean with killing Martouf?"

Jeez, he hated it when she did that. Scrunching up his face he continued, "Yeah, well that and everything…."

Sam knew what he meant by ‘and everything’ but decided they really needed to talk about Martouf first. Settling back further into the corner of the sofa, she took another swig of the beer. "I’m getting better. Dad and I talked today." She paused. "I talked with Selmak too."

"Selmak?"

"Yeah, he is actually pretty wise. At least what he said helped me some."

"So, what did ‘they’ have to say?" Jack prompted her.

"That I did what had to be done, that it was better for Martouf to have died at my hand than at his own, that he died nobly as a warrior, and that it would take time." She stopped her recitation and looked at Jack.

After a moment or two of silence he realized she wasn’t going to elaborate, "So…you said it helped you some?"

Sam studied her beer bottle intently, not looking at Jack as she replied. "I know you’ve said before that we’re not assassins, but that’s what I felt like. I realize I did the only thing I could have done given the situation, but that doesn’t make it any easier to accept." She looked at him then, her eyes dark with pain, "I keep hearing his voice saying my name…." Feeling her eyes beginning to fill with tears, she fumbled in the pocket of her jeans for a tissue. "Thought I was through with all of this," she mumbled through the tissue.

Jack sat his beer down and shifting closer to Sam pulled her into his arms. Sighing, she let her head rest on his chest, looping her arms loosely around him. Stroking her hair he held her quietly for a few minutes before asking, "Did you love him?"

Not at all surprised by his question she replied, "No, I didn’t love him. I know that my feelings were confused sometimes, because of Jolinar." She tilted her head to look up at Jack; "I liked him though. He told me he had grown fond of me and I can say that I was fond of him."

Jack’s arms tightened around her when he heard what Martouf had said. "Well, I think maybe he felt a little more than fondness for you." Reaching up he smoothed her bangs back off her forehead.

She smiled tenderly at him; "You have no reason to be jealous."

"Jealous? Who said anything about being jealous? I was just making an observation." His hand trailed in a soft caress down the side of her face coming to rest on her shoulder, his fingers idly toying with her hair.

"Whatever you say Colonel." She studied his face carefully, not believing him at all.

"Ah, Sam, about that…I think maybe you should call me Jack." At her suddenly serious expression he said, "I mean, when we’re off base, you know, in situations like this."

Nestling deeper into his arms and tucking her head under his chin she murmured into his chest, "You mean situations where you’re holding me in your arms?"

"Yeah, those kinds of situations." He kissed the top of her head gently. "We’re okay with that?" he asked, suddenly unsure of himself. He knew what they were doing now was technically not in line with keeping their feelings confined. However, he had been thinking and hell, he never had been one for staying within the defined ‘boundaries’.

Looking back up at him again and seeing the play of emotions across his face, Sam brought her right hand up and placing it at his nape pulled his head down. Bringing her mouth to his she whispered, "More than okay." Sighing softly, she wound her arms around his neck as Jack tightened his arms around her and began kissing her urgently. Yes, this was definitely more than okay.

THE END